Dear Ryleigh Joseph:
On this day, seven years ago, you were born. I remember it was freezing cold and there was snow on the ground. I still remember every single thing about that day. I remember listening to your fast little heart beating from deep inside my belly. I couldn't wait to meet you.
I remember falling more in love than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I also remember being more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life. I knew, from that very moment on, I would be your whole world and you would be mine. You change me still.
Yesterday, I watched you and Layden pay toys on the living room floor which is one of your favorite things to do. You were playing How to Train Your Dragon. I listened to the big words that spilled from your mouth and was confounded that, not so long ago, your vocabulary consisted largely of odd sounds and babble.
I tried to understand how you came to be this little boy, when it seems like just yesterday I brought you into this world. My eyes became watery as I realized how quickly time has passed. I sometimes feel like I didn’t savour enough, didn’t pay attention enough, didn’t take time to really soak you in. I am thankful I have a good memory.
You have a vivid and wild imagination and you regale me with wonderful stories daily. You live in a fantasy world that very few people, especially children your own age, understand. I encourage you to let you imagination be your guide through life. You know that your heart, mind and soul are so special.
You are smart and have an ability to think logically and creatively that I'm so proud of you. You make me laugh all the time. You love love and everything that goes with it – hugs, kisses, snuggles, cuddles. Don’t ever change.
Tickle fights, building forts, finger painting, hours spent lying together on the couch making silly faces, playing with your brother; helping Layden beat levels on your video games; jumping in piles of leaves till you’re both sweaty and our tummies hurt from laughing so hard – you have inspired me to live life more freely, to savour each moment, to live and be present in those precious moments.
You’ve taught me not to sweat the things that don’t really matter, like housework and laundry. Because there will always be housework and laundry to do. You won’t always want to crawl into my lap to snuggle or be so free with your “I love yous.”
I want you to know that I am trying and will always try to be the best mom I can be. There will be bad days, for both of us, but no matter what, I’ll always love you and be here for you.
Here are some things I want you to know, not just today, on your birthday, but always. So please, remember this today and always:
I love you and your brother more than I could ever love anyone. Ever.
You and Layden are, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
You have made me a better person.
I will always be here for you. Whether you need me to make sure there’s no monsters under the bed or soothe your first broken heart, I will always be here.
We have a special bond that was made for just you and me. That bond can never be broken. Ever.
I am proud to be your mother.
You and Layden are, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
You have made me a better person.
I will always be here for you. Whether you need me to make sure there’s no monsters under the bed or soothe your first broken heart, I will always be here.
We have a special bond that was made for just you and me. That bond can never be broken. Ever.
I am proud to be your mother.
I am emotional as I write this. Yes, I shed some tears. Time is moving too quickly for my liking. I want to hold on to you – your smallness, your innocence, your giant heart that you wear on your sleeve- forever. I cannot believe five years of our lives have gone by. So much seems like yesterday. So much has changed.
Happy birthday, Small Human. Thank you for making my life so wonderful and challenging; easy and difficult; so full of love and uncertainty and fear and worry and laughter and pure happiness. You are the living, breathing piece of my heart that was grown in my body and now walks around outside of it.
You are the greatest piece of me that could ever exist in this world.
Happy 7th Birthday my Sweet Boy
