A Look Back to Present

Google Photo made these 'Look in the Past Photos" one day and I have to say I absolutely love it ... For so many different reasons. 

First look at how much you kids have growth.

You all still love to be around each other. 

Ryleigh, you are looking so much more like your dad. You have all his great qualities and so much more. 

I'm so happy you two are ours now and forever. Your bond is only getting stronger. 

Layden, you bring me so much joy and laughter. 

Dear children,

I hope that by the time you read this letter you know how much your father and I love you and how we want nothing more than to give you the world. But one day you will come to understand that if we gave you the world, you wouldn’t appreciate it. You wouldn’t live in it with the same pizzazz and gusto as you will if you have to work for it.

We want you to work hard to earn what you have.

It is hard to watch you struggle to learn things on your own, and sometimes I have to fight the urge to swoop in and do things for you, but I try really hard to stand back. I watch and I wait. Usually you can figure it out on your own. 

That’s what life is like as a grown up.

Don’t rush to adulthood. It’s hard here. But also, we don’t want you dragging your feet when you’re old enough to be responsible for your own laundry and bills. My job is to put myself out of a job. Don’t expect me to treat you like you’re 7 when you’re 17.

We want you to follow your dreams, live your life to the fullest, and become who you are meant to be, but following your dreams is really hard. No one talks about that part. There will be times when you have no money. Your pride will take a beating. You’ll wonder why you’re putting yourself through this torture. You will feel like you have nothing new to offer. You’ll want to give up, because everything is terrible.

You might come back home and sit on the couch and stay there for several days. It’s okay. We’re here.

But one day out of nowhere, doors will start opening and they will keep opening if you keep working hard and treating other people with respect, and all of the sudden you’ll realize that you are LIVING the dream you once had.

To push through the hard stuff, you have to be persistent. You have to be fueled by something.

What fuels me is the fear of not sitting a good example for you kids. I also fear failure. I’m not sure what will fuel you, but it’s usually a terrible experience or wanting something so badly nothing stops you.. That’s why when bad things happen to you, I’ll encourage you to press on. And when you truly want something let nothing stand in your way> Better things are coming.

They really are.

I hope that you fall in love with a person who makes you feel like the best version of yourself. I hope you find someone who makes you laugh and who inspires you. If you can’t find someone like that, get a dog.

I insisted on having the four of you because I know we are stronger together. You are each other’s people, and I hope that you all stick together when weird family stuff happens. If you start acting crazy, know that we will bring you back.

Motherhood is my greatest joy. It is my greatest achievement, and my greatest failure. But I am many other things in addition to being your mother. I have to be, to hold onto who I am. Never allow yourself to be absorbed into anyone else, even your own children.

Whatever you are, be that. And be the best.

And whatever that is, I will always love you.

Love,

Your Mother